New book review for Do Something for Nothing: Seeing Beneath the Surface of Homelessness, through the Simple Act of a Haircut, by Joshua Coombes, Akashic Books, 2021:
Copy provided by Amazon.
The subtitle to this book provides a great summary for what this book is all about, albeit from a limited perspective: "seeing beneath the surface of homelessness, through the simple act of a haircut." The introduction furthers this thought by stating that "this book isn't about homelessness, it's about humans and showing up for one another where we can." However, as a longtime consultant I also view this book as a phenomenal demonstration of the pro bono experience, which is distinct from traditional volunteerism: using one's professional skills to provide services to those who are unable to afford them.
I've personally performed both volunteer and pro bono services, but while I've served individuals in need as a volunteer, I've never served individuals in need as a pro bono consultant, instead serving mediators situated in-between myself and the end recipients. And my lack of experience in this area is why I especially appreciate what Coombes has to share in this book. Not only does the author actually carry out a professional service, cutting hair, but he spends time with individuals before, during, and after providing service to get to know each individual. And in my view, this is a great example of why transformational relationships are so much more powerful than transactional relationships.
In the world of consulting, I've often been advised that transactional relationships are inferior, but in the end it's always an expectations-filled, give-and-take business relationship. Not so with what the author demonstrates in this book, which puts to shame much of what I've seen during my lifetime, regardless of intent. Coombes spends some serious quality time with each individual, always trying to empathize with their circumstances and never outwardly judging. Some backstories provided by the author's "customers" are so especially moving that it has caused me to recount some of my own encounters with the homeless, and why I can't stand the imposters I've seen on city streets.
This book walks the reader through the author's meetings with 35 individuals on city streets across 14 global locations in the US, UK, France, Netherlands, Mexico, Australia, and India. It seems the fact that 40% of these individuals are located in the US speaks more to the interests of the author to visit from his base in the UK, partially because of his connections in the US, but this aspect of the book drives home the fact that homelessness exists everywhere, even amongst the affluent.
And as such, Coombes also surfaces the reality that homelessness can happen to anyone, even the affluent, by passing along the stories each individual has shared with him. David, for example, described his experience as "surreal". "There's no way I would have seen myself sitting here...no way at all. I've realized how we trick ourselves into believing that we're in total control of our lives, and we're really not. There's so much that can happen to a person that you ain't got no say, or no control over. It's frightening...it's really frightening. I see people walk past me and I get the odd person with a look of disgust on their face, but mostly I see fear on their faces, because they don't know how you got here, and they're scared they that could be here also."
In some cases, customers share glimpses of what their lives were like before homelessness. Emma, for example, doesn't ask for much. "Although sometimes I feel like saying, 'Forget this life, just end it,' I don't have the guts to do that, and I feel like that's basically the same thing as saying, 'Don't do it.' Because, all I need is a place or a room and I'll be happy. I could go in, close my door, and be back to normal life, doing normal things: waking up, having a coffee, taking the dog for a walk, coming home, doing some housework. I was doing embroidery before and getting really into gardening."
And in the midst of homelessness, there is also much optimism even whilst recounting past abuse. Two homeless individuals, Lavane and Nick, even found love for each other. "I'd been abused as a child at the hands of my dad...The last place I thought I'd find real love was on the streets, but then Nick came along...Before Nick, I was married for ten years and I had a really bad relationship. There was a lot of domestic violence. I left after he put me in a hospital for the second time. That's when I became homeless...I never met anyone who had loved me that way. He didn't care what people thought of him. He was unashamedly himself. I loved him for that - even when he smelled bad! He lived his life and had his flaws, like we all do, but his heart was good. He showed me a different way. He showed me how to live on the streets and how not to be frightened. It really gave me back my confidence. I really fell in love."
Before April 2020 when I first started cutting my hair due to salon closures, I had convinced myself that I enjoyed talking with those who cut my hair. While these weren't transactional relationships, money still exchanged hands and I don't recall ever hearing anything profound. In writing about his time with Tony, Coombes demonstrates a far different experience, and combined with the optimism so prevalent throughout, it provides a moving story. "Tony meant every word, I could feel it. They cut through more than any 'motivational speech' I've seen delivered onstage." As explained by Tony, "I've come a long way, man. My dad's an alcoholic. It wasn't pretty. My mom was everything to me. She died back in 2000. I know she's looking down on me and I take a lot of strength from that. I want to put out a message to inspire people that I'm a survivor. I'm living with cancer, on the street, and I'm still smiling. So be optimistic."
The story Dennis has to tell is perhaps especially moving. "It sounds crazy, but my thing is, even though I'm struggling, I think God put me here to help other people. You know, because everybody I've helped has got themselves together and moved on, and I'm good with that...I had seen everything - apartments, cars, and all that. So, I understand it's not easy to be out here every night. People with no money, getting high just to stop what's going on in your brain. I'm trying to learn to give without wanting - without wanting anything in return...Why is it so hard to want to see the next man do all right? If I see the next man down, I've gotta try and bring him up. Even if it's just a little bit. So he knows there's at least one person out there who's not just trying to get one over on him. That's where my heart is at. Maybe it's my age that's humbled me and brought me to that point. I dunno."
This reminds me of Romans 5:3-5: "...we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame...". In my 2015 presentation on how to use one's skills to benefit a non-profit for a consultancy's annual technology conference, I walked through 16 takeaways I gained from my pro bono consulting work for 5 different non-profits. My fourth takeaway: "Encountering beautiful clients with relatively low prestige jobs is common." I highly recommend this book if you're interested in starting your own journey to meet such clients.
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